9th June, 2011

This Common Entrance thing is a bore. The good news is it’s almost over, at least as far as Bob is concerned, but at 9.00pm last night, when you were probably settling down to a glass of wine and an episode of The Apprentice, I was deep in the world Greek mythology trying to impress on him the need to learn more than just the story of Jason slaying the Minotaur with an armoury of arrows, clubs and swords that Bob obviously coveted. He has run out of arrows for the moment but it has not stopped him terrorising the local squirrel population with a well honed length of wood onto the end of which he has taped a broken Stanley knife blade. Horrific though it is to report, he has enjoyed a certain amount of success with this makeshift weapon. I digress, but talking about a lack of concentration, the fact is if you have children doing Common Entrance don’t worry too much if your little darling wasn’t slaving away yesterday evening. I took my eyes off Bob for barely a minute and he was off, out of an upstairs window, onto a flat roof and down into the garden chasing after a pigeon before you could say Odysseus.

After “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” which is now etched a little too close to my heart, my favourite quote is “ Heureux qui, comme Ulysse, a fait un beau voyage”. This appears on bottles of one of my preferred “daily drinking” clarets, Chasse Spleen. Buy the 2010. If you are at a loss for things to do this afternoon you could always come up with an English translation for this quote and let me know it because I am still searching for one which succinctly captures its evocative essence. I am not at a loss for things to do. I will be making my own voyage on Easyjet up to the East Neuk of Fife for dinner in St Monans and a round of golf at Kingsbarns tomorrow.

Can’t resist including this little gem from a “fellow” Fifer ( ok.... I’m not one really! ) –

When my girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.


And then I saw her face.


Ouch.

2nd June, 2011

I am up in Scotland tomorrow – too late alas for a trip to Tesco’s in Greenock - with a Chinese IPP, Huaneng Power, – oh happy days - so thought I would drop an early Bodhi into the mix. Hen is back from Asia which is lovely of course, but people of Newmarket and road users in the surrounding areas should be warned. We are on a renewed campaign to teach her to drive. I say “we” I think it is fair to say I will not be allowed a particularly hands-on role in this initiative. Things didn’t go very well last time around. Despite an absolutely enormous investment in lessons she never quite made it to taking the test and it is often said amongst the family that my contribution was at least partially to blame. We only went for one short drive together, but it ended with Hen, having had enough of my panicked administrations, pulling somewhat erratically – in my view at least - onto the verge of the country lane we were on and saying “You know what Dave. I’m not that bad a driver really, but I do have a very high awareness of the dangers around me.”

Talking of dangers, her companions having already flown home, Hen was on her own in Bangkok on Monday, her last day in Thailand so, principally on grounds of safety, I decided to treat her to a night in The Sukhothai......although I enjoyed a fleeting peace of mind I havn’t yet decided whether it was a good idea or not! Certainly, she seems to have got more out of it than I did. The following are a couple of texts I received.....

OMG there are no words. This is absolutely amazing! I have a menu for pillows! WHAT!!! In-freakin-sane! Thank you!!!

Jeez dave if this how you live when your off on your business trips screw photography, I want to be a stockbroker! I feel like royalty! Just had a jo Malone bath, ran around the room in my birthday suit for about half an hour and finished it off with the last five minutes of peter pan. This is the life! So now I’m sitting by the pool with a glass of wine. Aaaah nice xxxx

Besides these effusive messages I did receive from my deluded daughter a pair of Sukhothai bedroom slippers as a gesture of appreciation, but she is keeping the “convenience kit”, a packet of mints from the mini-bar and a dressing gown.