Friday 25th May, 2012

Hen was home last night and she and I settled to an exciting evening in front of the telly after a barbeque and two bottles of Pino Grigio Rosato. What a fascinating programme we watched about Billingsgate Fish Market. I think I've told you before about my attitude to fish and fishing. It is definitely at odds with Bob's. Apart from the smell, the tangles and the danger to body posed by hooks, gaffs, knifes and teeth, not to mention the risk of ciguatera, it is also the fact that I am incredibly unlucky and rarely catch any of the little blighters. My luck changed once though. It was many years ago, pre dating any influence from Bob, we were staying in Ireland in a house on the shore of some sea inlet on the West Coast and I decided to have a go at catching supper. Would you believe it within 20 minutes I had pulled out four or five substantial and I must say, quite attractive looking fish. Manfully, I gutted and filleted them, wrapped them in tin-foil and put them on the barbeque. I can't tell you how utterly disgusting it was. Tasted like eating mud. In an effort to identify the fish, the next day I went to a shop in Sneem and described them to the shop keeper. "Oh they'll have been the pollock" the man said. "Are they edible" I asked? "Oh yes" came the enthusiastic reply. "They used to be very popular here in Ireland.....during the Potato Famine." Well funnily enough one of the fish merchants on the TV last night told us that thanks to celebrity chefs likeGordon Ramsay and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall pollock has become incredibly popular and he can hardly give cod away these days despite its abundant supply. At that point I almost switched the telly off in disgust, but a moment later I could have hugged him. "That's a pollock," he says, holding one up. "Lovely piece of fish, lovely bright colours, that sort of thing. Tastes like sh*t. Then you get cod [holds up a cod]. That's a fish that's been swimming in the North Atlantic, feeding on the right products, since the day it was born. If that's a human being, that goes to the gym every day, yeah? It eats all the right foods. It probably drives a Porsche, right? This – back to the pollock dangling limply in his hand – is sitting at home on the settee, in a tracksuit, watching Jeremy Kyle, eating a burger." Well I thought it was hilarious, but I suppose it boils down to one's history with pollock and your sense of humour which can be like ships passing in the night....witness a couple of Blackberry exchanges I had with my daughter Jimmy this week: David Sandison, Jimmy Sandison NEW Messages: --------- David Sandison: My auntie died this morning Jimmy Sandison NEW: Oh daddy I'm so sorry are you ok? Jimmy Sandison NEW: Who's sister was she David Sandison: I didn't know her well. She never talked to me, or to anyone really David Sandison: R.I.P. Auntie Social David Sandison: Ha ha ha!!! Jimmy Sandison NEW: Oh golly ok David Sandison: It was a joke!! Sorry. Couldn't resist it!!! David Sandison: Do you get it?? Jimmy Sandison NEW: What no one died? Jimmy Sandison NEW: U sick freak David Sandison: Did u know that Beyonce is Roy Castle's love child? She chose not to take his name as she didn't want to be known as Beyonce Castle. Boom boom! Jimmy Sandison NEW: Isn't he a music producer? Or something Jimmy Sandison NEW: Very interesting David Sandison: Do u get the joke? Bouncy castle. Jimmy Sandison NEW: Why have u taste in jokes gone so down hill Jimmy Sandison NEW: I've gone deaf in one ear Jimmy Sandison NEW: Completely David Sandison: What? Didn't quite hear you David Sandison: Poor you. When did this happen? Jimmy Sandison NEW: Last night I think it was cos I was spinning around loads so my balance in my ears have gone weird David Sandison: Try spinning back the other way?? Jimmy Sandison NEW: That's what I thought but I'm not gunna risk it cos I can't remember which way I spun in the first place