Friday 10th August, 2012

It has been such an astounding week or so for Team GB you have probably had enough of impossible stories, but there has also been some sporting action to report away from the Olympics. I am often asked whether I make up the stories about Bob. I don't. I really don't. Anyway, it would take quite an imagination to come up with his exploits last weekend. If it wasn't for the pile of feathers by the sink I spotted when I came down for breakfast suggesting he might have been up and about I suppose I would have been a little irritated that Bob didn't show till some time after 10am. It transpired that he had got up at 3.30am, wandered to the bottom of our paddock and sat, .410 shotgun in hand, for four hours, hoping that a rabbit would emerge from a burrow. When, by 7.30am, it became apparent that the rabbit community was wise to his prescence, and a pigeon wandered lazily overhead, he popped that, plucked it, put it in the fridge and a slightly disgruntled Bob pottered back to bed. It was a shame he explained to me. He had been very keen to get a rabbit as he had found a nice recipe for Lapin a la Moutarde. The local wildlife had one up on him the next day too. He had been asked to take the dogs for a quick walk. We were going out for the day and they would have to spend a few hours locked in the dog house so they just needed a little run about. He came back forty minutes later. Twiggie, his lurcher, was a muddy mess. Humphrey, our miniature smooth haired daschund had a cut on his side and squealed when you so much as touched him. And Bob's wellies - my Le Chameau's to be precise - had been been sliced open. As I said, we had just sent him for a quiet Sunday morning walk and he had turned it into a bloodbath. He calmly explained to me they had had an encounter ( I'll spare you all the details ) with a male muntjac ( photo attached so you know what to look out for next time you go for a wander in the countryside). Some muntjac this. Feeling slightly threatened admittedly, it had turned on Bob and Humphrey and bitten them both! Humphrey has had a lucky escape safe to say, but my wellies are a write off. I had to take the dog to the vet so that'll be a £100 bill at least plus £160 for a new pair of Chameau's. Blinking boy. Drives you mad. We are off on holiday to Sweden tomorrow morning, my wife's first ever visit to her fathers homeland. We have tried to go there before as I may have told you but ended up that time in Denmark as I had booked flights to Copenhagen believing it to be Sweden's capital city. So away next week and in my absence please contact my colleague Matt Brown (0207 201 3540) who will be happy to help if you need anything from us......