Perhaps you missed me last Friday. Remember I told you I was off to France to catch up with a girl in a van. I meant to drop you a line on the Thursday, but I had a sore back. Slightly lame excuse I know and it was such a silly thing I should probably quickly tell you.
The thing is I was packed off by Sophie the previous Saturday morning to give Lottie’s horse a bit of a stretch in her absence that weekend ( DofE Gold training don’t you know ). Uncharacteristically I took my phone with me. Having a phone with one is a strict and sensible rule laid down for Lottie but one I invariably ignore, however on this occasion taking it was my undoing. At the very far end of my ride I arrived at a bridleway which opens up onto a wide path and allows for a decent stretch of the legs. It was at this point that I had the idea of videoing my ride and, spotting to my surprise that my current location enjoyed 4G coverage, I decided for some weird reason to try out Facebook Live-video for the first time.
You may well ask what was I thinking of? It’s not as if I was unaware of the risks in this escapade. As the camera started rolling I told anyone watching that if they were lucky they might even see me falling off, and with that I kicked on and Bertie broke out of trot into a canter and a developing gallop as I clamped my legs tightly holding onto the reins with one hand. Fifty yards further we were in full flight when out of the corner of my eye I saw catastrophe looming in the shape of red deer stag which shot out of a hedge immediately into our path. I remember feeling quite proud of myself because I caught the approaching deer in the video feed, but this all happened the instant before Bertie spotted the creature. When he did, and who can blame him for this, he startled and swerved sharply to the left. I went right however and, still clutching my iPhone, flew out the saddle landing on my bottom in a humiliated heap on a mercifully soft grassy patch. I shook myself tentatively off as I watched the deer and my daughters beloved horse careering side by side across the field into the distance.
It was at that point, dear reader, I decided to delete the video. Partially out of shame, but mostly because with a loose horse to attempt to reconnect with it wasn’t a good moment really. Nearly an hour later spent haplessly chasing Bertie around the fields and hedgerows of the Dalham Estate and eventually having to call on help from Sophie – you can imagine how thrilled she was – Bertie finally succumbed to the allure of some pony nuts Sophie held in an outstretched scoop and I was able to remount and gingerly we made our way home.
So with all ending well enough, apart from my bruised pride and backside, it’s a bit of a shame the video is lost. Bob and his friend Felix watched it in hysterics when I got home. It had stayed on my phone for one showing only before disappearing into the ether.
Ah well. We live and learn.
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