Well well here we are. The end of another year and much to my surprise I got quite a few contributions to last week’s Christmas competition.
The first response, from an old friend who has clearly managed his affairs much more sensibly than me and has been able to retire, seemed to confirm my suspicions that this was a challenge to which not many would feel the urge to rise.
Do you know even in my more relaxed state these days I’m going to eschew a limerick competition where Triffid or Dyfed would likely feature.
Happy Xmas to you and all the family.
Others are made of sterner stuff albeit, at the risk of appearing a touch pompous, I would observe that you all have a slight problem capturing the true rhythm of the limerick. Lear will be wincing in his grave. But putting that to one side the winner is this effort mainly for the pun:
It used to be simple to do
Provide research and get paid a few
But new rules must be met
And though we’re very upset
Our clients, they’re probably miffed too.
Other commendable contributions:
I remember the glory days well
Our service was easy to sell
Now commissions are limper
From Big Bang to a whimper
Mifid 2 is ringing the bell.
There was an old broker from Threadneedle Street
A nicer man you couldn't hope to meet
Upon the advent of Mifid2
The air at lunch went blue
And the rest is control alt delete
There once was an author called John
Who imagined plants blocking the sun
He baptised them Triffid
Created a hell just like Mifid
And made all the brokers shout ‘run’
Oh Mifid2,
It makes us blue.
We need it
Just like a stone in our shoe.
Cave, cave
The blessed EU...
This one didn’t doesn’t even pretend to be a limerick, but I rather liked it….
“What’s the point of MIFID2”
He said to me, “And I ask you.
D’you think in Spain, Italy or France
They’ll give it e’en a second glance?”
And lastly, before they get a little too blue-blooded….
There was fine old boy in EC2
Who hadn’t a clue what to do
In scope, out of scope?
There really doesn’t seem much hope.
Lets all raise two fingers to MIFID2
Yup. Thinking about it most of the others are frankly unprintable. Of course it’s a touchy subject and feelings are running high, but I have little doubt the rest had been written after or perhaps during a good session in the pub last Friday lunchtime if that sort of thing is still allowed these days.
Whether or not this is appropriate I will leave you to be the judge. Underneath our Christmas tree are two presents tied together and bearing an intriguing label which reads.. “Dearest Jimmy, Merry Christmas with lots of love, Felix and Mummy”. I spotted the package during one of my regular evening trawls prodding the prezzie pile. Even though he is one of the good guys I felt compelled to ask Sophie why she and Jimmy’s boyfriend were given our second daughter a present together. It transpires that other day Felix dropped Sophie a WhatsApp message saying he knew what he wanted to get Jimmy for Christmas, and that she would definitely love it, but being quite a lot over his budget he wondered if Sophie might like to go halves on it with him. If you promise not to tell Jimmy…..it’s a set of silk underwear. How good is that?! In a millennials world perhaps there is nothing especially outlandish at this practical solution to a budgetary problem, but I’m not sure it’s an idea that would have gone down well with my future in laws back in the day!
Talking of Jimmy, she’s just sent me this. Made me smile anyway.
My Christmas present to myself was 6 cases of cheap provincial Italian made from grapes cultivated on the hillside of an extinct volcano in the Cilento National Park. Alas the trailer that the wine and three bottles of exquisite limoncello were sent over on has been impounded by British customs. Sebastiano, who sold me the wine tells me, there was contraband tobacco in the consignment too. So it could be a dry old Christmas I’m sad to say.
Before I go though I have one more message for you. Admire its form and structure:
You’ll be worried, I know, what to do
With the Bodhi Tree and Mifid2?
Insubstantial, but fun
Doesn’t suit everyone,
Do you want me to send it to you?
LET ME KNOW!
And on that note I’m rushing out on a panicked mission in the general direction of Jo Malone. Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year when it comes.
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