I’m late with this and if I didn’t wish it you wouldn’t miss it, but Happy New Year anyway. I was on Block Leave. The phrase that allows you to shrug your shoulders and pretend that two weeks away from one’s preferred and dedicated spot in the work place wasn’t of your choosing.
Had a good time for the most part other than finding ourselves stranded in Liverpool on New Years Eve after Easyjet cancelled our return flight to Stansted from Geneva. But don’t want to start the year whinging so what uplifting stuff do I have to tell you?
Well, there’s a little monkey on my shoulder desperately urging me on to report some follow-up revelations about my old Colombian “friend” Ben Curry following an email exchange I had with the renowned author Louis de Bernieres, but it would be career jeopardising to put it in print ( not for me happily ) and anyway it wouldn’t get through your internet censor software so I had better save it for the next time we meet over a drink.
Talking of South America, Bob headed off there yesterday. He left the freezer well stocked with a brace of pheasant, five widgeon, one hare and two muntjac garnered over his last week at home so we will not starve in his absence. 11 squirrels also met their maker on Sunday morning. We turned this offering down.
It shouldn’t have surprised me, but bearing in mind he was going away for six months, I expected something more substantial by way of luggage than the back pack that was draped over one of his shoulders when I went to Heathrow to see him off on Wednesday. Two tee shirts, a spare pair of boxers, swimming trunks and shorts…one of each. And I don’t imagine there is anything even close to 100ml of toothpaste. He checked the bag in though. Perhaps there would have been some hair gel in there too, but more likely the armoury of knives and snares I suspect is accompanying him on the first stage of his travels to Chile, Patagonia and the Argentinian wetlands. More on that anon no doubt.
As for Christmas, we spent it “skiing”in Chamonix. There wasn’t much snow. In fact not a drop of it down in Argentiere where we staying. Conditions were consequently ideal for long boarding. It’s a strange story that could only ever have Bob and Hen at the heart of it. They had sneaked out of the apartment a little before the rest of us to have a quick beer in a bar on the way to the restaurant where we all going for dinner. We were supposed to pick them up as we passed however whilst I spotted Hen there was no sign of Bob, but as they arrived shortly after us I thought nothing of it. It was only much later that evening when we adjourned to said bar for a couple of post prandial genepis and a young guy was pointed out to me ( see attached photo ) that I discovered the story behind Bob’s absence. The two of them had got chatting in Franglais to the lad who after a beer or two presented a “proposition”. Would either of them be prepared to drive with him in his car a few kms up the hill out of Argentiere to the Col des Montets from where he intended to longboard back down the main road? It was 7pm and pitch black and he needed someone to follow him allowing the headlights of the vehicle to show him the route and particularly to illuminate several treacherous S- bends along the way. Complete madness. Bob said it was the most exciting thing he had ever done and that was simply driving a rickety old French van at 50 kmph, hazard lights flashing, with the maniac 30 yards in front of him hunched on top of his longboard, hooting and hollering as he hurtled headlong down the narrowing road into the centre of the town, before the predetermined motion of clapping his hands together behind his back indicated to Bob that his crazy French friend was about to pull off a screeching sideways sliding halt which he performed right in front of the very bar from where this crazy expedition had started. After which Bob and Hen wandered up the road and nonchalantly tucked into a delicious cheese fondue as if nothing had happened.
If this is the sort of thing that Bob gets into in a sleepy Alpine village a couple of days after Christmas goodness only knows what is going to transpire in South America. He arrived safely yesterday morning, indeed half an hour ahead of schedule according to the Flight tracker website that I was using to monitor his progress, and I woke this morning to a Whataspp message sent from Santiago at 2.00am.
“Had a wicked day
xxxxx”
was all it said…….
Aye Right….it’s a wicked day ahead for me too. Another lovely boy has just invited me to lunch at Sweetings and I have management of Globalwafers in town this afternoon so pip pip for now and have a lovely weekend!
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