The Mammal Game © was invented by Bob on a long drive up north last summer. It was a rather sweet and innocent game as he devised it. I forget the exact point system, but I think you get 1 point if you spot a rabbit before anyone else. 2 points for a hare. 10 for a munjac. 15 for a roe deer. 20 for a fox. 50 for a live badger….You get the point. Our chances of winning have improved since Bob passed his driving test, at least I hope he will now have his sights firmly on the road, but he does have the eagle eyes of a fully fledged hunter gatherer and it is rare indeed that anyone spots more than the odd rabbit before he does.
So I set up a group WhatsApp chat with the rather lame purpose of allowing the rest of us to register the occasional point in his absence albeit it needs to be confirmed with a photograph of the observed mammal. Last night as it happens was a tremendous one for me. My train home had a protracted and unscheduled stop alongside a field between Newport and Audley End. This allowed me to clock up no less than 50 points, alas all rabbits, captured in two or three photos ( of dubious quality admittedly ) which were whacked off gleefully to the group chat.
Even though I got home half an hour later than scheduled I cared not a jot. 50 points. Go me.
Alas the game has taken a rather sinister twist I think you will agree once you have scanned the screen shots below. I have spared you the video clip which was something akin to a “snuff movie” albeit it didn’t quite capture the gory detail my wife Sophie had intended it to when she took it during a dog walk earlier today. Goes without saying I am increasingly worried about what is happening to the dearly beloved quite apart from the fact I thought we were as one in our efforts to curb Bob’s bloodlust. That aside the excerpts in green are my vain attempts to try to assert some discipline and focus in Bob and Lottie, but clearly this is water off a ducks back, even where my youngest Lottie, the so-called perfect child, is concerned.
No comments:
Post a Comment