28th May, 2010

This afternoon I want to write about squirrels. But please accept a warning up front that this is not for the faint of heart. If you are even mildly squeamish move on to the meat of this email that follows below; all that good stuff from the house of Nomura. As you may have gathered from earlier missives, it would appear that my son Bob ( who is metamorphosing towards his christened name, Oliver, it appears ) has something of the bloodlust about him. Anyway, the point is there is a serious grey squirrel problem in Darien, CT. Don’t think “sweet”. These are nasty little ratty things that spread all sorts of disease and do untold damage to my brother and sister in law’s house and garden and something had to be done to address this problem. Despite the seriousness of the mission, it is fair to say though that the highlight of the trip to the US for Bob was not listening to the solo his father had to sing at the Carol Singing party, nor a wonderful Christmas dinner, not even the skiing in Vermont, but the hours of ultimately futile entertainment spent with his cousins trying to catch these pests employing a variety of increasingly sophisticated home made traps. Back home in the UK the failure to catch a squirrel whilst in the States rankled Bob, but wandering through the local iron-monger store he hit upon a solution and, indeed, a birthday present for the youngest of his cousins, Rory. A squirrel trap: fully assembled, galvanised mesh design with fail safe setting mechanism, a protective hand plate and carrier handles for safe and easy handling. Into the post it went and off to the US prompting this recent flurry of emails.

1) An email from my brother -
From: Jamie Sandison [
Sent: 27 May 2010 12:02
To: Sandison, David (EQ/UK);
Subject: Pressie

....Well it works!! Lel and I were quietly entertaining a new colleague and his wife (no kids, 3 newfoundland dogs, big animal lovers) when Rory peeked around the corner! subtly gesturing to me come. "We've got a squirrel!".

So I excused myself and sure enough, one slightly agitated "tree rat" encaged. "Ok, you can kill it or let it go." "Can we paint it?" "No!". "Can we paint it's tail?" "Eh?...Nooo!!"

Anyway, suitably clad in lacrosse gauntlets and with the help of a long stick, they set it free.

Big excitement.

Thank you...I think!

J.

2) An email from Bob’s cousins to Bob which puts a slightly different gloss on events –
To: Oliver Sandison<>
Date: Wed, 26 May 2010 20:14:45 -0400
From: Rory Sandison
Subject: Squirrel

Dear Cousies,
Thank you for the squirrel trap. I would like to le you know that within 2 hours we had caught a squirrel. We left this one go but hope to butcher the next. Sorry we don't have any picture but we will send you some of the next butchered squirrel.
Love Angus and Rory

3) Bob’s response
From: Oliver Sandison
To: Rory Sandison
Sent: Thursday, May 27, 2010 1:42 PM
Subject: Re: Squirrel

Hey that is so cool! glad you liked it. twiggie and I have caught another two squirrels last week. next time you get one be careful they bite seriously hard (trust me i am expirienced!) put a thick plastic bag at the open end and then scare them into it. close the top of the bag closed and then whak it against the tree
seriously do that. if t he squirrel is not dead or nocked out then do it again once it is dead chop of its tail and save for me, keep it outside outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then do what you wish with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with lots of love
your
cousin
Oliver Sandison
jokes!, bob


P.S. I had another crack yesterday evening at matching the world record pace set by Georgette Lenoir in the 800 metres ladies track final at the Paris Olympics in 1922 but failed by 15 seconds and don’t feel very well today. Don’t know what to do about achieving this target I set myself last year. Getting quite depressed about it really. Suggestions welcomed.