18th November, 2005

Last week's attempts both at investment insight and then in a subsequent message, humour, were treated with derision and contempt. "Stick to human observation" commented one caustic respondent. Well, I observed the human condition at close quarters last Saturday evening. I was on my way back from Rugby having taken Hen out for an early dinner. It had to be early because, despite the fact that my 8 year old son and I were going considerably out of our way to see her, she was insistent that she needed an hour and a half to prepare herself for a party that evening. Now why wasn't that a suprise?
Enchilladas and tortillas at a Mexican restaurant having been rapidly devoured Bob and I left Rugby and had just got onto the A14 when the rear left tyre of my environmentally unfriendly vehicle spectacularly blew out. Sheer, raw driving talent kept the car on a line Schumaker would have been proud of, but with no tyre all I could do was grind to halt, infuriatingly short of a lay-by. Half of my rather wide car was on a narrow grass verge, with traffic belting past on the dual carriage way missing us by just a couple of feet. Not wishing to be melodramatic about things, this was not a happy situation. We walked the 1/4 of a mile to the lay-by where there was an emergency phone and rang the police to explain our predicament, arranging also for the RAC to collect us on a low loader. Having been told by them that someone would be with us within 30 - 45 minutes, one hour later we were still crouched in a dark and freezing cold ditch surrounded by Coke cans, crisp packets and discarded number plates, only to be told that it would be at least another hour before their man would be with us. At this point I decided to defy the accident text book and risking both our lives and the car's rear axle, got back into the Toyota and scraped my way precariously up the road to the safety of the lay-by. Happily, once there, by the light of the passing vehicles, I was able to investigate the damage and concluded that it might be possible to change the tyre. So it was that two hours after the tyre blew out, the remains of which were strewn on the road beside my prostrate body as I inspected the underneath of the car, someone pulled off the road and drove up to a halt 5 yards behind us. Quel relief. The police and the RAC had failed us, but here was my good Samaritan. Bob and Den, my dog, peered amiably at our saviours from their position inside the car, whilst I was immediately grateful for the light their headlights shed on the proceedings. But my happiness was short-lived. The driver stayed in his or her seat which I thought was a bit odd and switched off the lights. Meantime, from the passenger side, someone got out of the car.......and proceeded to vomit energetically onto the pavement before returning to the car which then drove off into the night without so much as a by your leave. Human observation....? Life isn't always about bottles of malt whisky and pretty girls.