Friday 14th January, 2015

 bet you thought I had forgotten about the Christmas challenge I set you.  Truth be told I was a wee bit underwhelmed by the number, though absolutely not with the quality, of responses.  Come on folk….. You’re a great lot, obviously, but I need to hear more.  Good to talk.  Those of you who didn’t respond missed out on the chance of a bottle of whisky the prospect of which clearly spurred yer man below.  Och well, no doubt you would have had to declare the gift to your compliance bod so that’s some relief I suppose.  Anyway, here is the winning entry.  

  

Oor Christmas bash at the Scran & Scallie left me feeling right peely-wally,

A full day oot on the Coonsil Juice meant a bus for me back tae ma hoose.

Wi glaikit look ah climbed upon it – the last one, ye ken, the vomit comet.

Fu’ o keelies wha’d been oot wi their boss – can this bus get me tae Kinross?

 

‘Haud yer wheesht son, just sit doon, I’ll wake ye when we reach the toon’

Ma heid went back, it never liftit as off to the land of nod I driftit.

Nae help frae the keelie tho’ – a total dearth, meant I didnae wake til Perth.

Panic stricken, gripped wi fear – whit tae say tae ma wife so dear?

‘Calm yersel son’ says the driver, ‘I’ll take ye back, just geez a fiver’

 

The gentleman who came up with this has home advantage, as you’ll possibly be able to discern.  His blend of McGonagall within a Tam O’ Shanteresque caper is pure dead brilliant.  I’m not sure however that it would be very responsible of me to present this particular individual with a bottle of malt.  To be discussed at our forthcoming Edinburgh client curry evening when we will also be monitoring his behaviour closely…….

 

Now, for all the gloom and doom in this first couple of weeks of the year, and I know you think I spend an inordinate amount of time bemoaning my lot, a happy moment.  I went for a ( 9 miles….1hr 13mins ) jog last Saturday and what should I find in my wind proof jacket, which I last wore when doing the Jungfrau Marathon, but two crumpled 50 Swiss Franc notes.  Really. How lucky am I?  And as if that were not enough good fortune, after a terrific day on Monday, thank you very much for asking, I have four woodcock plucked and sitting in the fridge at home ready for supper on Saturday night to be washed down with a bottle of Beycheville 2003.