There are some things I really can’ t write about even in this ludicrous email but when I next see you remind me to tell you about Bob and the Canada goose….in the context of that particular episode which happened in the last week of term, how he has spent these early days of the summer holiday is tame by comparison. He has been camping with a friend of his on the friends farm, each armed with a twelve bore and a silenced .410, engaged in a concerted campaign to eradicate local vermin. I feared he was going to be running foul, yet again, of the law, when I received this text from him on Wednesday…..
Shot 5 pigeons 1 jackdaw and a rabbit on the first day and 11 pigeons, 7 carrion crows and 2 jackdaws today. We saw 5 badgers. Some only 10 feet away!
Uh oh I thought. Not the badgers. Please not the badgers; though I should add he is pretty good about only targeting animals he intends to eat. Funnily enough I was having lunch with a friend today who brought up the subject of badgers which unbeknown to him had been on my mind. He had seen one wandering down his street in London and so I related how a couple of months ago I had had the thought that I had never seen a live badger. A week later I spotted one trundling along, a week later another, and a few days after, would you believe, I saw my third one as I drove to the station early in the morning and sadly ran it over. I digress; would you believe it, Bob has developed a soft spot for badgers. It transpired they had pitched their tent close to a sett and for three nights in a row the boys sat and watched transfixed as five badger cubs frolicked under the moonlight. Sweet and not even a grisly end to this story for a change. Unless you needed to know what they dined on. Fried pigeon breasts with ratatouille ( yugh ) on the first evening. Rabbit, pigeon and beans on the second. Boys are strange.
Talking of camping I am heading home this evening to put up the faithful old Bedouin haj tent and bracing myself for the horrors of having a score of 13 year old friends of Lotties who are coming for a camping party on Saturday evening. Bob has offered to roam around and keep order. Feel my pain.
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