I’m conscious that I have been a wee bit of a moaning minnie these past few weeks. Sorry for that. Almost as tediously I need to warn you I’m going to prattle on yet again about mobile phones and Taiwan so do feel free to skip quickly on to all the proper stuff further down. As we move into the Festive Season I will do my best to change the tone ( how punny I am ) and lift my mood, but in the meantime even if the Christmas Tree is up at Newmarket’s Clock Tower roundabout and gawdy coloured lights brighten my drive along the High Street at 5.15am, I’m not quite yet in that cheery happy place.
The thing is I was hoping I had put my phone troubles to bed after last Fridays rant at Jimmy who, if you remember I told you, had left her phone at Paddington Station. I had zoomed round there on the Circle Line and miraculously retrieved it. I didn’t recount that the following day Sophie went to the post office in Moulton and at exorbitant expense sent the phone to Bristol by first class recorded delivery. We had a couple of grumpy emails from Jimmy during the week, which I didn’t burden you with, bemoaning the fact that her phone hadn’t yet arrived, and at the time of writing last Friday, although I could see that the package had been delivered to her hall and signed for by the Porter, I had heard nothing from Jimmy so presumed she had not been to collect it. All I could do was send emails telling her that her phone was there and she should go and pick it up. A bit annoying right, but let’s leave it at that…for the moment.
The next day I went off to Leicestershire shooting. There I was, standing in a field, gun poised, waiting for the Husband Bosworth pheasants to come lumbering overhead, when my phone buzzed. A text from Sophie. “Hen has had her phone stolen”. Appropriately enough, the first bird that came my way, though in truth probably my neighbours bird if I had been in the mood for courtesies, was a hen and a surprisingly challenging one at that. Dusted. It didn’t stand a chance poor thing.
We had a record bag for the first day of the season but I couldn’t say I had totally got the venom out my system by that evening when we had to go out to dinner at friend’s house a long way from us. There was a pea-souper to make the drive even more of a slog and we were the last to arrive which I hate though I should be used to it by now, with Sophie as my wife. But we got such a warm greeting from our charming hostess that my mood lifted. “Isn’t it just wonderful that Jimmy and Tarz are such good friends at Bristol” she purred. “And now they’re planning to share a house together next year. It’s so sweet.” I concurred enthusiastically enough even though I still wasn’t quite able to discuss Jimmy without bridling slightly. “And” she added almost as an afterthought, “isn’t it funny she dropped her phone down the loo? Apparently she’d only had it back for two hours after being without it for a week.” Oh hilarious.
I was out with a colleague from Japan the other night who was saying that at some point he would probably have to go back to Taiwan to take over responsibility for the family fishing business. They have a fleet which catches tuna in the Pacific. Ever the opportunist I asked him whether in due course there was any chance he could arrange a job for Bob – whose favourite programme of all time is Wicked Tuna - on one of the ships. Certainly, he said, adding that their boats go off to sea for three years at a time. Perfect solution thought I, but now I’ve done a bit of research about the Taiwanese fishing industry maybe I will not sign him up quite yet. It appears that three years at sea is the least of the trials that the men of the Taiwanese fishing fleet– most of them from Cambodia - face. And to be fair to Bob, he’s actually held onto the same handset for quite a while now. Lose another one though and he’ll be in Kaohsiung quicker than I can dial Vodafone Customer support on 191.
PS….thought you might enjoy the attached Twitter exchange I had with the singer James Blunt yesterday. He has gained notoriety for his quick fire and risqué ripostes and certainly put me neatly in my place!
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